Christmas Presents for the 21st Century Medical Student

The election and that 3B SBA aside, it is undoubtedly the most wonderful time of the year. This means that many people are heading to what is left of Britain’s High Streets to find gifts for friends/parents/ourselves. However, the vast majority will also be venturing on to the internet to see what is hiding in the darkest corners of Amazon (other online retailers are available). But our time is precious so here is a quick selection of gifts for the modern, 21st Century Medical Student.

Bone Pens

(Pack of 10, £6.99)

Everyone has one of those iconic BMA bone pens knocking around at home. But this is your opportunity to own a full skeleton (not to scale) of stationary making you stand out from the crowd in ALL the right ways in lectures.

Perfect for: Budding anatomists and orthopaedic surgeons, Mr Rochester.

Reviewers said: “They actually write pretty well which was a bonus.”

Prescription Fukitol Mug

(£6.99 + £3.49 delivery)

Generally speaking, novelty mugs are what you find when you scrape the present barrel around this time of year. The best of a bad bunch, Fukitol is indicated for cases of chronic apathy and those who followed the election campaign. The mug also features a weak pun (‘pharm-mug-cology’ HA) and a handle so you can hold it without burning your hand.

Perfect for: Anyone in Phase 3B.

Reviewers said: “Holds about the same contents as a teacup, not what I call a mug”.

TELMU Microscope

(£69.99)

What could be better than a microscope for your own personal use? Take your passion for histology home with you and amaze/appall your friends and family with images of your cells as they have never seen them before. With recent budget cuts, this is the kind of equipment they are rolling out nationally so why not set up a pathology lab in the comfort of your own kitchen?

Perfect for: Dr Burton, anyone who wants to diagnose malaria at home.

Reviewers said: “I used it to clearly see the nucleus and the moving cells, making my child better. I know the existence of cells.”

 Sticky Plaster Memo Notepad (£1.99)

So these are actually quite good, all things considered. They can be used for all manner of jobs such as marking pages in your copy of Vander’s or leaving passive aggressive notes on your milk in the communal fridge. A cheap way to show someone you thought of them and have kept it vaguely relevant. They go especially well with the bone pens (see above).

Perfect for: anyone who likes novelty stationary or has not got time to find anything better.

Reviewers said: “Not quite what I was expecting”

deAO Toys Little Doctor Kids Medical Center Hospital Portable Role Play Set with Accessories (£19.99)

Has the best been saved until last? Who knew you could get a full observation machine and stand for just £20? Perfect for doing a ward round of your own on any house mates who will let you. The screen does not always show the correct rhythm and it will assume everyone has the same blood pressure but these are minor set backs all things considered and not a million miles from real life.

Perfect for: the keenest of beans

Reviewers said: “The parents weren’t happy as makes noise…”

So there you have it, a gift to suit all budgets, tastes and needs. All that remains to be said is have a wonderful Christmas break (don’t work too hard) and see you all in the 2020s.

by Phil Mitchell

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